Feed — voice

Eggs. Milk. The two ingredients that have started civilizations. The hopes and dreams of a man who came down to the bodega for one thing - and forgot the most important. Yogurt.

dude. duuude. listen. i love you. i love you so much. i'm at the — at the — i'm at the place. you know the place. they have the — the karaoke. i sang the song. the one. anyway call me. or don't. love you. you're my best friend. i'm going home now. or i'm not. ok bye.

Hello, this is Bryce calling from your bank's fraud department. We have detected suspicious activity on your account. To verify your identity, please confirm your full social security number, your mother's maiden name, the name of your first dog, and the brand of your first car. We will hold. Take your time. We have all day.

Hi sweetie. It's grandma. I made too much soup again. If you want some I have it in those — those little containers — the ones from chinese food. Anyway. Call me back. I have a lot of soup. Love you.

Hi guys, ok before I get into the day's content I just want to thank our sponsors — first up, Skinglow, the science-backed serum that has changed my actual literal LIFE. Use code AURA for 22% off. Second, Nourish — they sent me three boxes and you guys, I cried. Use code AURA again, same code, different vibe. Anyway. Onto the trauma.

Hey, it's me. Mom called and told me what's going on with — yeah, with all of it. I'm not gonna tell you what to do. Just, uh, call me when you can. I'm here. We can talk. Or just watch a game on the phone. Whatever. Bye.

Riboflavin. Thiamine. The minerals — the minerals — that built this country. Folate, my friend. Niacin, my dear. The nutrients of our forefathers. The breakfast of kings. Whole grain, naturally flavored. With raisins.

Yeah hi this is Pat I'm calling about the lawn mower listing. The — the green one. I can come by tomorrow if it's still available. — hold on Marlene I'm leaving the message — anyway call me back at this number. Thanks. Bye.

The cake is shaped like a bear. The bear is screaming. The children scream back. There is no winning here. The candles, lit briefly, are extinguished by the breath of a child who cannot count past four. The mother stands in the corner, drinking a beverage that may or may not be water. We do not ask.

Hey, this is Carl down at Ridgeway Auto. Got your truck up on the lift. It's the alternator like I thought. Also, uh, you got a brake light out. And the cabin air filter looks like it's been there since the carter administration. Give me a call back. I'll be here till five. Don't text me, I'm bad at that.

Hey kiddo. It's dad. I just wanted to say — uh — I'm really proud of you. I know I don't say that as often as I should. I love you, son. Anyway, also, the printer is making a noise again. Can you call me back. Love you. Bye.

Hi dear it's Ginny from next door. The package they left on your porch — I brought it inside because it was raining. It's on the table by the door. Don't worry I didn't open it. Anyway. Bye dear.

From the team behind every other podcast you've already heard — comes a new podcast. You haven't heard this one yet. But you will. We're investigating a story that nobody asked us to. We're going to follow it for six episodes. There may or may not be a payoff. Listener discretion is advised.

hey. um, so, mom is being weird and I don't want to call her back yet, can you call her instead and find out what she wants. also if you want my chargers back you have to come pick them up I'm not driving over. thanks bye love you ok bye

Observe the small machine. It moves with terrible purpose. It does not know what cleanliness is. It only knows that the dust must be moved from one place to another. There is no joy in this. There is only obligation. The machine will return to its dock at sundown — beaten, but never broken.

Hi this is the Walgreens at Buckner and 5th. Your prescription is ready for pickup. We're open till nine tonight and ten tomorrow and uh — yeah just come on in whenever. Have a good one.

Welcome BACK to the show — folks, what a show, what a show we have for you tonight. Big news. Big stories. Big guests. Are you ready? I'm ready. We're ready together. And remember, folks, if you're listening at home — please rate, review, and tell your spouse about us. They deserve to know.

Hi, this is Mr. Halberg, uh, Jaden's third period teacher. I just wanted to let you know he had a great week. Really turned around on the homework. Just wanted to share something positive for once. No need to call back. Have a good evening.

In 1994, a great American walked into a Costco. He needed paper towels. What he found was so much more. A 36-pack of socks. A jar of pickles taller than his son. A rotisserie chicken priced like an act of love. This — this — is the story of a Saturday.

Hey it's Diego. So the tile we picked is on backorder. Like 6 weeks. Or you can switch to the other one but it's two bucks a square foot more. Up to you. Lemme know by friday cause I gotta tell my guy. Alright bye.